Beating myself up

I’ve been beating myself up, both mentally and physically for a while now. If you’ve read this blog for more than one day you’re probably well aware of the fact that I give myself grief on the regular over having chosen Hal’s “easier” marathon training plan. I dote on that for a while, throwing lots of billying (billy=bully in my world. long story) comments at the mirror and scoffing when I look at my training log that reports a peak week of 55 miles instead of 60.

Then I back up and tell myself to chill. This is, after all, my first marathon. Given the fact that prior to signing up for it my running history had essentially consisted of one–I repeat, ONE–half marathon and a Ragnar Relay (that really shouldn’t count because it was far too fun to really be considered work of any kind) I know I should pat myself on the back for every mile run past 13.1. I should be happy knowing that I killed 20 miles on Friday afternoon. Yes, but you read about so many others who run 20 miles THREE times while training. And then 22. And then 231.

See? Did you see the mean little voice come out? Happens all the time.

That is me mentally beating myself up.

Physically, I guess you could say a 20 mile run is considered a beat down. But I won that fight. I felt great after a little couch time Friday afternoon, and even made it through a very long night of work afterwards, completely pain-free. In fact, I woke up Saturday STILL feeling well. I ran 7 miles and some change Saturday afternoon–all along the Bridle Path and reservoir to give myself a break from the concrete. And I felt great. And could have kept going. My confidence was soaring because I figured if I could run close to 29 miles in less than two days, I could certainly do 26.2 in one day.

But then Saturday night came. And while I swore to myself that taper-time would involve ZERO alcohol, peer pressure [read: severe lack of willpower] got the better of me. And I was the one suggesting a shot of patron immediately upon walking into a bar on the LES Saturday night. I don’t even like shots! What the hey?! I think I was subconsciously have a delayed celebration from Fridays run/trying too hard to keep up with the JD and his sisters and our friends. Le sigh. Epic fail marathonwiner, epic fail.

Yesterday was an almost perfect day–beautiful weather, our company extended to include the JDs parents at a delicious brunch, a late afternoon walk around town with the JD (during which I got a great deal on some workout clothes at Gap and finally found shoes for this weekends wedding!), etc. etc….all with a weenie headache that refused to leave.

And was still hanging around this a.m. when I got up to run. So I spent the first half of my 6.5ish mile run thinking about how I’d have to come back and write about the worst run since that fateful day in September when I thought I would collapse into a pile of mush in the middle of the Hudson River Park. Instead, as running always does, it cured me. Halfway through the run I found the high, I found the calm, I got deliriously happy over the fall weather and I felt good. And I vowed that I’d instead come back and announce to internet world that the last few days just don’t count. And from this taper point forward, no alcohol, no inhaling bags of Halloween candy (courtesy of the JDs mom) in one sitting, no following every meal with “just a little taste” of dark chocolate dreams PB. It’s time to get serious. Healthy eating, health drinking (hello water!), and healthy sleeping from now until race day. This (unfortunately) includes this weekend, where even though I’ll be celebrating my best friends wedding in Richmond with my family and favorite friends, there will be no cheating. Okay, maybe wedding cake is acceptable. Just a smidge. Hold me to it, internet world, hold me to it!

In the meantime, I’ve got a speech to write, an interview to kill, packing galore and lots of stalking/memorizing of the Richmond Marathon website to do. Busy week!

Have a very happy Monday kids–enjoy this gorgeous weather!

And here’s a fun little clip to keep you entertained if you’re stuck in an office and can’t enjoy the weather right now:

– Tell me more about your taper. Do you have a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on too? I need pointers!

– This wedding is the first one that I’m in/the first one of my nearest and dearest friends to tie the knot. If you’ve got ideas on anything I can do to make it extra fun and special, do tell!

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6 Responses to “Beating myself up”


  1. 1 kristak81 October 24, 2011 at 11:39 am

    you kick so much ass! if you don’t stop beating yourself up, i am going to beat you up!!!! …..wait….did that make sense?

  2. 2 Sass October 24, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Please tell me why….every now and then aI kick the livin’ shit outta me…

  3. 3 Kristen October 24, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    I’m excited to see you this weekend! Yay:)

  4. 4 thethinksicanthink October 24, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself! This is my third marathon and I only did one 20 miler (and I have a coach). I did that for my 2nd marathon, too, and I pr’ed by 21 min.

    My taper is starting hard with three days off due to a fluky knee pain thingy. Or, at least, I hope its fluky.


  1. 1 Holy Wow « Marathon Winer Trackback on October 26, 2011 at 3:53 pm

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