Yesterday, and for that matter, just about every day for the last two weeks, you’ve likely read and/or heard me ranting and/or bragging about my year-end overindulgences.
It seems that everyone else in bloggerworld has been doing something similar–at least on the ranting end, but not really on the overindulgence end.
And so I bring you, the TRUE confessions of a marathonwiner.
When I say I gorged on homemade sugar cookies while home this weekend, I don’t mean I had my first sugar cookie in a year. I mean I literally ate about four per gorge sesh, about three times a day. Sugar cookies are great with coffee, as an afternoon snack, and the perfect complement to an after-dinner glass of milk. Or wine. Or both.
When I say I ate my weight in chocolate-chip and what my grandmother calls “heavenly” cookies (likely because of the copious amounts of butter and sugar in them), I mean I literally ate 100 and an undisclosed number of pounds worth of said cookies. How did I manage to do that after the gorge on cut-outs of stars and snowmen blanketed in sprinkles? I had chocolate-chip cookies as the dessert to my dessert. I’m not kidding, I did.
When I say marathonwiner’s been leaning a little more on the winer side of things, I mean I haven’t run more than 4 miles or so in the last week (lie. I just remembered I ran almost 7 last Friday morning) but I’ve done plenty of hydrating. And by hydrating I mean drinking lots and lots of water the morning after drinking lots and lots of wine. Because I don’t have just one glass of wine in a sitting (especially when that sitting is around a table with lots of ridiculous board games being played) and pat my mouth with my napkin and say “okay, that’s enough indulgence for me for one month, better go chomp on some celery sticks and do some crunches.” No, that’s not me at all. What I say is, ”why is this bottle empty already and where can I find another one?”
When I say I’ve done nothing but eat for the last three weeks, I literally mean I’ve spent the majority of my day putting some food or another into my mouth. Sure, over vacation I had piles of delicious tropical fruit for breakfast every single day. But then I polished it off with some pancakes. And bacon. And TOAST (only a handful of people will understand why toast is in caps and find it funny, but I assure you it’s not in caps because I think that’s the most extravagant of my feasting). Over Christmas I managed to get a few clementines into my midday snackage, and yes, green beans were on my dinner plate on more than one occasion. But they were vastly overshadowed each time by a mound of lasagna or a burger and fries (yes the burger was a veggie burger, but does that really mean anything when hours earlier you were nibbling on sausage breakfast casserole?).
Why am I wasting your valuable time and my [should-be] valuable [work] time making myself look like a fatted cow? Because I find it annoying when I’m perusing blogs and other health related web sites or magazine articles going on and on and on about diets and the holidays.
Magazines and health columns tell you all of the millions of ways you can avoid gaining those extra five pounds from Thanksgiving to New Years and little tips and tricks on how to NOT overindulge. People (well, most people anyway) are not morons. They realize that one way to avoid holiday bloat is to avoid a third helping of decadent cheesecake. But you only get to put up pretty decorations and listen to songs like Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas” for this ONE time of year. You don’t limit the number of carols allowed on your Pandora. So don’t limit the number of Hershey Kisses in your tum.
And on that same note, editors and writers from these various health and fitness outlets–including the many blogs I so often frequent–try to play the flip side of that “don’t take a handful of potato chips at your office party, take a handful of crunchy carrots instead!” by saying that the holidays are meant for a little break in the routine, and you should not feel guilty about having one of your grandmothers famous macaroons. They indulge too. They eat THREE peanut M&Ms (because, why not, it’s the holidays) and then they spend an extra three hours at the gym making up for it. Duh.
I love to run. I really, really do. That’s why I ran a marathon. And that’s why I’m [supposedly] training for a half marathon (seriously, I’ll pick a plan and get my sneaks on reallllyyy soon…). And that’s why I have every intention of running 26.2 miles in this awesome city that I live in.
But you know what else I love? I love to eat. And I love to drink red wine. And I love to spend time with family. And sometimes (like during the holiday season) I love to spend 30 minutes LESS hitting the pavement, and 30 minutes MORE playing CatchPhrase, uncorking a nice merlot, and taking a box of crackers decked in fancy cheese dip to the face. I’m 100% okay with that, because I had an awesome time in the process. And that is the truth.
Life is short. And should be enjoyed. So don’t spend this week drafting up resolutions that revolve around the fact that your pants are a little more snug than they were a month ago or that Self magazine made you feel guilty for missing out on your latest Zumba class. Think about how much time you’ve spent over the last year or month or week with people you love doing things you love. And keep that in mind as you plan your 2012 do’s and don’t.
- Did this post make you feel better about your holiday season? If it did, I’m happy and feel successful. If not, go eat a cheeseburger and an entire pan of brownies. Now.
- What DO you have in the queue for 2012 goals? Don’t worry, I’ll have the cliche 2011 recap/2012 goals posted on Friday